Foodie Pornography

I’m a foodie.  Forever, full-on, and flagrant.  I’ve been a foodie since forever.  I’ve been a foodie since before being a foodie was popular, since before foodie was even a word.  I’ve been a foodie since the Essence of Emeril, before Emeril Live turned Emeril into a fat ass food celebrity that yells bam! while the people behind the scenes do the real work.  I’ve been a foodie since David Rosengarten hosted Taste on the TV Food Network, back when the TV Food Network wasn’t a 24 hour channel.  At some point the TV Food Network became Paid Programming and I’d be up at 12am watching some workout commercial or dietary supplement ad while eating shrimp chips and thinking about food.

Since those burgeoning days of the foodie movement, I’ve traded my TV for a computer and my remote for a nice camera.  Emeril has been replaced by a cutout of Adrian Ferrara’s head in the window of a catering truck (a story, and picture, for another day) and David Rosengarten . . . is simply irreplaceable.  I still eat shrimp chips every once in a while, but I think about food more often than I think about sex.

I guess the name of this blog is a pretty accurate, to scale representation of what goes on in my head.  Thankfully the two are (mostly) mutually exclusive.  The rare exception being this blog.  But Kevin, you say to yourself, what exactly is Food Porn?  Well, dear reader, I’m glad you asked.  Food Porn is:

1)  Delicious food is beautiful to the mouth
2)  Beautiful food is delicious to the eyes

And yes, the first letters of Food Porn are always capitalized.  Because Food Porn is so kick ass, it deserves to be a proper noun.

I cook a lot.  I eat even more.  I like to take pictures of food.  Check out my pics; if you feel so inclined, read my shit.  Crave.  Fantasize.  Orally jack off to my Food Porn; just make sure you use a tissue to wipe the saliva off your keyboard before it stains.  That shit’s nasty.